The expectations we have for our children contribute to their overall feelings of negative or positive self-worth. Expectations, which are appropriate and doable, promote a healthy sense of self and communicate encouragement through achievement and effort. Appropriate developmental expectations also provide children with a sense of accomplishment and the ability to please their parents. The ability to please parents goes a long way in helping children to have the desire to continue to follow the rules.
Success breeds more successes.
Just last week, my 9 year old granddaughter, Gracie, was taking her nightly bath. When her mother went to check on her, she noticed that Gracie’s belly button was dirty. When her mother pointed it out to her, Gracie’s response was, “well Mama, I wash it once a month!”
Gracie and her mom had different expectations. While Gracie was ok with a clean belly button once a month, her mom wasn’t! Knowing Gracie, she probably never even thought about it before. A clean belly button was not on her list of priorities! She did agree, after her mom pointed it out to her, to wash it more often!
A few nights later, as Gracie was getting ready for bed, she told her mom with a big smile on her face, “I washed my belly button tonight!” Mom gave Gracie a big hug and smiled back!
Most children do want to please their parents and meet their expectations…they simply may not know what the expectations are.
Watch for those “teachable moments” and be happy with small successes.
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